Everyone meant so well, but I was so tired. I dreaded all the thank-you notes I’d have to write, and I felt bad about that, too. One person sent me a card with glitter in it, and I freaked out when it scattered everywhere I was terrified that the tiny sparkles would somehow get into my baby’s eyes or nose, causing him harm. I felt guilty for groaning every time we got another delivery of flowers - they were beautiful but also another thing to unwrap, find space for, and eventually throw away. Our apartment was a mess of boxes, and I didn’t have time to shower or even put on a shirt I craved company but was sometimes embarrassed when people came over. Neighbors came out of the woodwork with lasagnas, teeny little baby socks, and other kindnesses that I will remember forever.īut this outpouring was also stressful and overwhelming at times.
When one friend came to my door with a hot pizza, I almost cried with gratitude. Their support was profoundly generous and moving, and I have never felt so loved or lucky. I held and cooed over their bald, gnomish newborns.Ĭountless people did the same for me after I had my son about a year and a half ago. And I’d thought I was helpful! I showed up at their homes with wine and flowers.
I learned a lot of things when I had a baby, and one of them was how useless I had been to my new-parent friends in years past.
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